


Dog Jokes

by Chiisuchine



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Arguing, Attempt at Humor, Dog Jokes, Everybody Lives, I Don't Even Know, Light Angst, M/M, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-28
Updated: 2015-06-28
Packaged: 2018-04-06 15:26:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4227036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chiisuchine/pseuds/Chiisuchine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek and Stiles arguing is nothing new. Derek glowers at Stiles is nothing new. Stiles making dog jokes at Derek's expense is nothing new, though we did have a talk about that Stiles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dog Jokes

**Author's Note:**

> This is not beta-ed. I'm not really a person who writes... So yeah... Enjoy I guess :)

There are many things Scott can tolerate, having a very hyperactive childhood best friend really develop that characteristic. However, even then he has days where his patience is on their last strings. He groaned once again as he hears the repeated arguments as two fellow pack members yell at each other.

Seriously, the arguments seemed to be pencilled in the agenda whenever they finished fighting off the monster of the week.

“I can take care of myself just fine damn it!” Stiles yells at Derek while he stops the bleeding wound on his arm. 

“Then what do you call that, huh?!” Derek growled in annoyance, gesturing pointedly at the injury.

“That is just a flesh wound! This happens when we fight supernatural beings! Lighten up, Sourwolf” Stiles glares at him after seeing that the wound is healing up nicely. Not as quick as werewolf heals, but his Spark magic does not leave him hanging.

Derek glared and seethed, nostrils flaring. This is not a new argument. It would go like this; find monster, kill monster, get wounds from monster, Derek notices wounds on human member of the pack and starts criticizing his skills, Stiles defends his skills and profess that it was his know-how that took down the monster, Derek argues back with saying that know-how does not easily protects himself, Stiles responds with something blunt and flippant, and Derek seethes until he repeats his earlier argument. A never ending cycle until someone steps in and changes the topic.

“I’d lighten up if you don’t go carelessly into the fight and end up with open wounds! You left your right side completely unguarded!” Derek clenched and unclenched his fists. Stiles’ injuries, no matter how minor, sets Derek off into a growly mood.

“I swear to all that is holy. I saved Isaac from being skewered, did that not count for something?!” Stiles is toe to toe with Derek, not backing down. He is not some damsel in distress that needs saving, no matter how handsome the hero. 

“Hey! Don’t bring me into it!” The indignant cry was deaf to the arguing two.

“Isaac is fully capable to handle himself!” 

“Oh, Isaac can handle himself, but I can’t?! I don’t need a guard dog, Derek!” 

“Stiles!” Derek growled lowly and seemingly threatening. Either Stiles does not sense the danger or he ignores it.

“Is that all you have to say? What are you? All bark but no bite?” The rest of the pack winced at that comment, the argument won’t be over anytime soon.

“Stiles, buddy, we had a talk about the dog jokes, remember?” Scott, ever the leader, tries to ease the tension.

“I remember all right, but Derek here seems to forget that I saved his ass last week! Throw me a fricken’ bone here! Or better yet throw him one, at his thick head!” Stiles’ eyes did not look away at all. An angry amber challenging an equally angry hazel.

“I’m leaving McCall, you deal with those two idiots and their UST” Jackson whispered to Scott as he and Lydia slinked their way away from the group.

Isaac, Erica, Boyd and Allison looked at the exchange before going back to the glaring duo. It was their turn to break it up anyway. The last confrontation ending with a broken pair of Jimmy Choos, an angry Lydia, and a remorseful Stiles and Derek.

“You’re seriously pissing me off Stiles” Derek is trying to keep his cool against his potential love interest, not that he would ever admit it out loud, he is still in denial-land on that subject. Though it does not seem to be working as Stiles’ jabs are getting to him.

“Why don’t you go piss on a tree or something, Sourwolf!” Stiles spat back, his temper is over-riding his rational thinking. Stress of his last high school year, college applications, and weekly monster fights since junior year is tough on an eighteen-year-old.

“Why don’t I piss on things you love if I’m such a dog, huh?!” Derek nearly roared back, his sideburns getting a little bit bushier, and his fangs ready to drop.

The group listening had a multitude of reactions on that comment. Boyd shook his head in disappointment, Erica snickered at the imagery, Isaac cringed at the imagery, Allison wished she was elsewhere, and Scott asked the lord above why is he getting punished. 

“Well, you’re going to have to piss on yourself then!” Stiles left as soon as possible for his jeep after that comment, grumbling about idiot sourwolves and useless friends not defending him. Leaving the vicinity of a shocked de-wolfed Derek, and a smirking group of teenagers once they all caught up on what Stiles meant.

“Well, Derek. I don’t know about you, but the rest of us are going home now. Have a nice night” Scott waved bye at Derek and head home with Allison in tow. The beta trio wish Derek good luck as the ball is in his court now and made their way back home as well.

Derek stood there for a while, formulating on how to respond back to what Stiles said. Then, he too made his way back home to his loft, hoping that Stiles meant what he meant, and that the text he sent him was not a mistake.

 

~~~~~~

Stomping into his room after a brusque greeting to his father; the Sherriff sighed and hoped that whatever he and Derek argued about would be resolved soon, because Stiles gets into a mean streak with his diet as an outlet for his anger. The Sherriff shudders at the thought of another week of kale casserole and tofu.

Upstairs in his room, Stiles paced back and forth in front of his bed. In his addled mind during his argument with Derek, he may or may have not admitted he loves Derek, he has not fully accepted the reality yet. Seriously, that is not the reality he wanted, at least just yet.

“He is usually emotionally constipated anyway, right? It could extend to not fully grasping emotional cues and statements, right? He won’t get it at all” he mumbled, his pacing slowing when the weight of his words settled.

“He won’t get it at all” he sighed out the words and sat on his bed.

_Maybe it’s for the best. After all, what can a 147-pound, Adderall-ridden kid offer him anyway._

He lied on his side and curled up in a ball. He really never liked fighting with Derek, it is exhausting, and admittedly, childish. Yet, it just happens. Well, only when they are fighting baddies. Still, another strike to their incompatibility list.

Stiles groaned in annoyance and reached out for a pillow to scream his head off. After doing so led his phone to slip out of his hoodie and the screen brightened up with text notifications.

Stiles glared at the bright screen, he contemplated on checking on it, but comparing to wallowing in angst, he knew which would be a better choice.

_Brudah Frm Anotha Mudda Text Message *20:36_

_“Dude, game night tomorrow, don’t forget after being emo all night XP”_

_Catwoman Text Message *20:40_

_“Batman Isaac says thanks for covering his furry butt tonight and that he owes you a coffee or something. Tell him to trade that for buying me and Boyd smoothies and cookies cause he lost please :*”_

_Sourwolf ;) Text Message *21:13_

_“Sadly, I’m not into watersports. Though, I do have a penchant for a certain loud-mouthed, mole speckled, plaid wearing teen. So what do you say, Stiles?”_

Stiles’ eyes widened at the third text. His heart pounding so hard he cannot hear his own thoughts screaming yes and to respond to that ASAP.

Stiles smirked and texted back to Derek, he always gets the last words.

 

~~~~~~

Derek relaxed on his bed with a book, he is blindly reading the words across the page. If he knew Stiles like he thinks he does, he will respond back to his text as soon as he reads it. At least that is what he hopes for and his waiting would not be for naught.

His phone beeped and he did not hastily shoved his book away like an eager puppy. The dog jokes still continue.

_Future Bae :) sent 2 Text Messages_

He needs to instil the wrath of God unto Erica, because that nosey girl does not know the sanctity of personal property. That and to ask her how to change contact names, hopefully _‘Future Bae :)’_ can become _‘Only Bae <3’_.

Derek blushed all the way to the tips of his ears. He doesn’t know whether to be mortified or happy.

_“I say, do you have a knot? Cause that is what I’m into. ;)”_

_“Though, seriously Derek, I want to be wooed first. You will pick me up tomorrow, meet my father, get threatened for a little bit with wolfsbane bullets, take me out to dinner, woo me hardcore and take me back home at a respectable hour the next day ;)”_

**Author's Note:**

> Please use extra lube for me, this is my first time ;)
> 
> And yes, Stiles would totally ditch Scott for a dinner date with Derek, I mean who wouldn't?
> 
> I hoped you enjoyed this fic, comments and kudos are love. And I don't mind the occasional critique, it helps me improve and I would like to create more if I can. Have a good day, everyone :)


End file.
